I thought I'd take a moment today and put up a special Saturday post to let everyone know about some exciting updates for the Up! Fair.

We've got some ambitious ideas for what we'd like this event experience to be like for both the tabling guests and the attendees.  While we're not brash enough to claim that we're the alternative to huge established shows like the San Diego Comic Con and the various Wizard World events, we do see some areas that need improvement, in particular the role of the independent comics artists, writers, and publishers.  Typically relegated to Artist's Alleys, it's extremely tough to make a profitable go of tabling at these events because of the combined cost of travel, lodging, high table fees, and printing costs.  Breaking even at these shows is difficult enough, but on a creative level, even finding the time to get anything out of the event outside of tabling is also difficult.  Networking with other artists and writers is hard when you're stuck behind your table, and the idea of utilizing the opportunity inherent in gathering a large crowd of artists to share ideas and learn from one another is almost non-existent.

Our idea is to treat the Up! Fair, first and foremost, as an opportunity for independent artists and writers to meet up and share their passion for comics and zines through hands on workshops, lectures, and panel discussions.  We want to bring the craft to the forefront, and leave the pop culture shenanigans to the other shows.   We also want the experience to be as exciting to just  attend as a cartoonist/writer, as it is to table or to put on these workshops.  That's why we're thinking more in the direction of a conference as opposed to a typical convention.

Obviously these types of events don't happen overnight and there's always a bottom line of costs and logistics.  One of our main goals was to try and make attending this event, both for the general public and those who are tabling, to be as low cost as possible, which is why we're keeping table registration very reasonable ($50 for a full table, and $30 for a half table) and general attendance to the show absolutely free.

While we're trying to cover the majority of the costs associated with the fair (we're certainly taking a loss on this show), we do need some help making the event the best that it can be.  Earlier in the week we put out a call to cartoonists and writers for help with creative donations to the show, in particular sketches, finished comics work, or a couple copies of your independently published comics, mini-comics, books, or zines for distribution to guests and attendees of the Up! Fair.  On the one hand, these artistic donations will go towards helping to get the word out on independent publishing, giving everyone who comes to the show an opportunity to sample the rich and diverse landscape of comics and zines that exist outside of mainstream publishing.  On the other, it's an opportunity to get your work out into the hands of the public in a much more personal method than just name dropping and link exchanges.

We also decided that in lieu of straight up monetary donations, we want to raise some money for the event by providing an opportunity to help out, but also by getting some great rewards in the process.  On Friday afternoon we launched a Kickstarter Pledge drive to help raise some funds for the show.  For those unfamiliar with Kickstarter, basically it's an online fundraising platform partnered with Amazon.com that allows monetary donations in exchange for tiered rewards.  Basically it's an all or nothing deal.  We set a monetary goal and a drive end date and if we make our funding by the date we receive the money to help with the Up! Fair.  If not, all pledges are cancelled.

The exciting part for me is that after only 8 hours our project met its minimal fundraising goal!  I can't even begin to thank everyone who helped make that possible, and so quickly even.  Much like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes bigger knowing that we're putting together a project that people are excited about helping to make a reality, and honestly, November 19th can't get here soon enough. 

But the work isn't done yet, and this is where we're going to get a little PBS for a second.  Though we've reached the initial funding goal, we still need help with the Kickstarter pledge drive to make the event all that it can be.

I'd like to remind folks that there are a lot of cool things you can purchase through this pledge drive.  The system we've set up is tiered, and with each step up in the pledge amount you'll receive all the stuff in the tiers below.  Here's some of what's available…

For $5 you'll be listed in the event program as an integral supporter, as well as receiving a link on the soon to be constructed Friends of the Up! Fair page on the website.  Oh and our honest, undying and heartfelt gratitude.

For $15 you'll receive a one year subscription to the forum access on the Art & Story website, which has an awesome and growing community of like-minded artists and writers, as well as being listed in the event program as an integral supporter, as well as receiving a link on the soon to be constructed Friends of the Up! Fair page on the website.

For $35 you’ll receive a hand-sewn plush Ink Monster (Oghma, the mascot for the Up! Fair), made with love by my talented wife Carrie, as well as the forum access and being listed in the program and on the website.

For $75 you'll receive an inked sketch from one of the Up! Fair organizers (Sara Turner, Jerzy Drozd, Mark Rudolph, Kevin Cross, Anne Drozd, or even me if you'd like), as well as a plush Oghma, forum access and being listed in the program and on the website.

For $135 you'll receive a one-year subscription to Art & Story Supreme (29 comics and writing process podcasts a month and tutorial videos to boot), as well as an inked sketch from one of the Up! Fair organizers (Sara Turner, Jerzy Drozd, Mark Rudolph, Kevin Cross, Anne Drozd, or even me if you'd like), a plush Oghma, forum access and being listed in the program and on the website.

For $200 or more you'll receive a limited edition screen-printed poster for the Up! Fair event hand done, drawn and designed by the wonderful Cricket Press, as well as a one-year subscription to Art & Story Supreme (29 comics and writing process podcasts a month and tutorial videos to boot), an inked sketch from one of the Up! Fair organizers (Sara Turner, Jerzy Drozd, Mark Rudolph, Kevin Cross, Anne Drozd, or even me if you'd like), a plush Oghma, forum access and being listed in the program and on the website.

The beauty of Kickstarter is that you can also pledge any amount you'd like, so as little as a dollar would help to make the Up! Fair that much more awesome.  Also, none of this money is going into our pockets, it's all being funneled into the show to cover the costs of printing programs, signage for the event, promo materials like buttons, food for the tabling artists and guests, materials for the workshops, badges, and much more.  If you enjoy independent comics and publishing, please consider helping out.  I honestly believe that when it comes to events like this that it's not about the organizers, it's truly about the community of people coming together to share their passion for art and creativity.  This show is about every single person who supports it and attends, and it can send a clear message that there is a better way to celebrate independent publishing.

To sort of keep this week's McDonalds posts going I thought I'd take a minute to share some awesome trading cards from the impressive collection of the one and only Brandon of the Waffle Whiffer Zone.  Brandon's site and Flickr feed have been a constant source of inspiration on Branded for the last four years and change.

Since I haven't been able to find a physical example of any McDonald's branded wax packages, I figured the next best thing would be to take a look at some trading cards the company produced in Cleveland, Ohio back in 1974.  These promo cards are all themed with specific iconography of the area including the Cleveland Museum of Natural History (behind Grimace), Hale Farm & Western Reserve Village in Bath, Ohio in Summit County (behind Mayor McCheese), the Cleveland Health Museum and Education Center (behind Officer Big Mac), the Great Lakes Historical Society Museum in Vermilion (behind Captain Crook), the Cleveland Zoo in Brookside Park (behind Ronald McDonald), and the Blossom Music Center, located between Cleveland and Akron (behind a very laid back Hamburglar.)

One of the things that I love about these cards is that the art is so simplified and interesting.  It's the same aesthetic that draws me to bubblegum card wax package art. It’s much better than the art in that 1980 Calendar I shared on Monday too.

Heartfelt thanks go out to Brandon for letting me use the images from his Flickr feed.  You should definitely take a moment and visit him at his site, Waffle Whiffer Zone for some amazing nostalgic ephemera…

A quick aside from this week's McDonald's shenanigans to make a call out to all independent artists and writers out there who are interested in helping out the Up! Fair.  In order to cover our operating costs, we'll be auctioning off artwork from guests and co-organizers of the event.  If you'd like to donate a piece of original artwork for the auction, you can send it here:

Cricket Press

PO Box 21952

Lexington, KY  40522-1952

No need to frame the piece or prepare it in any way.  Just send it in sturdy packaging with your name and website info clearly indicated so we can credit you as a supporter of the show.  The piece can be anything you wish; a piece of brand-new artwork that promotes our theme of independence, or a page from a comics or illustration project you've worked on in the past.  We only ask that the piece not feature any characters from any established publishers.  The artwork will be auctioned off on the Up! Fair website.  Deadline for donations is November 1st, 2010.

We're also looking for your independently published works! 

You can help us demonstrate the wonderfully diverse world of entertainment in self-publishing by donating a copy or two of your own work.  We're accepting any independently published comics, mini-comics, or prose books to be distributed to the guests of the event as well as the general public.  You can send any donated books to the address above.

All material supporters of the event will get a mention on our “Friends of the Up! Fair” page along with our undying gratitude.  So don't forget to include your website information!

And thanks in advance for your support of the Up! Fair!

Since I decided to empty my backlog of McDonalds related ephemera this past Monday, I thought I'd also spend a little time talking about the weird craziness of the fast food giant trying a bit too hard to reach out to kids and families in the 80s.  On Monday, I mentioned an ad for a McDonald's branded storybook and record series that was at the back of one of the yearly coupon calendar.  To me it seemed like Micky D's was overstepping their bounds by taking it upon themselves to offer educational children's books outside of their restaurants.  Heck if these were part of a Happy Meal I probably wouldn't think anything of it, but because they were sold in bookstores and the like it just seemed wrong.  Well, the weirdness didn't stop there.  In fact in 1987 McDonalds was also getting into the fashion industry as well…

Dubbed McKiDS (not to be confused with the 1992 NES game of the same name), McDonald's partnered with Sears on a line of branded clothing for kids 1-7 years of age.  The tagline for the collection was, "Fun Clothes for Small Fries".  Thoguh they were branded with McDonald's iconography, they were really a product pushed by Sears, and the management of the fast food chain was really only involved in a consulting and licensing capacity.

Branding on clothes is obviously nothing new, but an entire line of children's clothing like this from a company that specializes in burgers and fries is just weird.  Not even addressing the idea of a creepy mustard and ketchup-colored adult clown thinking about playing dress-up with our children, it points to the fact that some companies can easily lose sight of what it is they do well in the race for more money.  It was another step into that distopian future ideal of countries run by single corporations providing us with everyting from the food that clogged our arteries to the healthcare that cleared them.  McHousing, McClothes, McFood, and McEntertainment.  I'm not the kind of guy who typically puts on a sandwich board and grabs a bell, crying out to his fellow men about the evils of corporate America, but things like this really do scare me a bit. 

What's even more confusing to me is that even though the clothes all featured the iconic golden arches logo somewhere, a lot of what's in these two ads looks like regular non-branded clothing.  If you're going to go so far as to introduce a line of McDonald's clothes for kids, why wouldn't you make the best of the stable of iconic characters you own?  What parent is so into McDonalds as a trusted company on that kind of level?  Only 15% of the clothing featured images of the McDonaldland characters (according to some articles I dug up), so even going past the parents, why would kids want these clothes either?  This just makes it seem kind of devious, as if the company isn't interested in spreading their brand, just positioning themselves for new revenue streams in a monopolistic maner.  It's the Wal-Mart effect.

Apparently there was a slew of similar clothing lines coming out in the late 80s including Jell-O branded toddlers garments, Coca Cola clothes, as well as a line of Burger King kids and teen clothing.  I don't remember any of this at the time (well, I do rememer oversized Coke sweaters and sweatshirts), so I'm wondering if it didn't catch on at the level were it was really country-wide?  When looking up the clothing line on the interwebs I found a ton of articles about a re-launch of the McKiDS line back in 2004 mainly launching in other countries, so my guess is that it originally petered out pretty quickly here in the States.  I wonder if this is still an idea the company is pushing?

One Interesting thing I'd like to note about the above ad (outside of all the grouchy Big Brother talk) is that it featured two discontinued characters from the McDonaldland crew, The Professor and Captain Crook, but surprisingly did not feature Ronald McDonald.  I bet there was some market research done that pointed to the fact that parents might not have been interested in a clothing label promoted by the iconic clown.  On the other hand, I wonder why they brought back some characters that they'd made efforts to remove from their branding?  Also, is it just me or, in the above ad, does Mayor McCheese seem to think this whole thing is a bad idea?

A Little while ago I shared a vintage McDonalds calendar from 1979.  I actually managed to get that calendar in a lot with others from the early 80s, so today I though I'd share some more.  Most of these calendars had some sort of gimmick (like the hidden messages and pictures in the 1979 edition), but the 1980 edition was a lot more straight forward featuring general history trivia as a theme (as you can see from the Christopher Columbus, Wright Brothers, and George Washington images on the cover…)

The artwork on this calendar is pretty weird too.  It has sort of a stained-glass vibe, but it also reminds me of the Count Morbidia pages in Dynamite magazine.  McDonalds wasn't a huge part of my life growing up as my parents didn't care for fast food, so most of my memories are of times when I'd tag along with friends and of the various television commercials.  Part of this un-exposure comes with an unfamiliarity with some of the McDonaldland characters, though I do think the early 80s was also a time when McD's corporate was culling the bunch so that didn't help either.  Because these characters seem so strange to me I find them endlessly fascinating, in particular the human characters like Captain Crook and The Professor.  I also think it's fascinating that half of the cast were villains intent on stealing your food.  The Fry Guys (called Goblins in this calendar) would snatch your fries, Grimace would take your shakes, the Hamburglar burgled your burgers, and Captain Crook wanted to frisk you for your fillet-o-fishs.  With all these food-napping shenanigans going on it's a wonder that anyone wanted to visit McDonaldland.  Seems like more of a mid-level hell to me…

The one thing that I also found a little strange was that as soon as Birdie the Early Bird showed up on the scene (introduced in 1980, but she doesn't appear on a calendar until 1981), Officer Big Mac was forced into early retirement.  Hope he kept his pension, though I'm betting Mayor McCheese found a way to funnel that dough into his own personal money bin.

Though I tend to try and stick with a mainly analytical/nostalgia-ridden eye towards the stuff I write about, I can't help but slip into Robot Chicken mode every once in awhile (Kickin' Jeans anyone?)  So when I saw this 1981 animal-themed Ronald McDonald Coloring Calendar I did a double take of creepy-clown proportions.  How were kids not crapping their pants and crying when they set eyes on that cover?  If the big-eyed Ronald wasn't enough, the realistically rendered animals with the human eyes would have sent chills down my spine.  Seriously, what's up with that panda and fox?  Eloping anytime soon?

There really wasn't a gimmick with this calendar either except its theme and the fact that it had a cut-out mobile on the back cover…

This edition also featured an ad for a branded read-along book and record set called the Ronald McDonald Discovery Series.  Personally I think this is a little weird.  It's not that I'm against branded characters shilling products to kids; I love 80s cartoons despite all the merchandising.  I think it bugs me that this series isn't about selling hamburgers, and instead seems to be education in nature.  It just doesn't seem right for Ronald to lead kids on this journey.  I mean if it were ever the responsibility of a parent to step in and take center stage, it's when teaching their kids about the basics of the world.  That aside, I'm dying to see what these books looked like…

Though I do have a copy of the 1982 calendar, I'm going to save it for another post as it's a variation on the Little Golden Sticker Fun books from the 70s-90s and feels like it should be discussed in a Peel Here column.  Instead I'll skip ahead to the last calendar in my collection, the 1983 Ronald McDonald Space Explorer Coloring Calendar with Magic Rub 'n Discover Spots…

First off, I love the Space Ronald theme for the calendar.  It's almost as if McDonaldland was in another galaxy and this is how Ronald gets from home to Earth to shill his burgers and chicken nuggets.  As we can see in the below coloring page Ronald decides to take a trip around the galaxy with all of the Mcdonaldland villains.  Strange…

Maybe he was planning on flying them all to Mars where he's leave them stranded in a big pile of red space dust.  Hey, maybe that cosmic face everyone sees on the planet is really a giant temple built to Grimace?  Anyway, the main gimmicks in this calendar are the magic rub and discover spots, which is a technology that I hadn't seen before.  Basically, there are missing images and text in the calendar that are surrounded by a dotted line.  By rubbing a coin over the area the images or text "magically" appear.  I'm not sure if it's the age of the paper or if the trick was always sort of subpar, but it's kind of difficult to see the revealed images, even with photoshop enhancement…

It is an interesting idea though…

The other thing that was really interesting about this 1983 calendar is that it came with two sets of coupons, one for McDonalds food products and another that were actually rebates for a series of Mattel branded products.  Actually, most of the other calendars also came with McDonalds coupons that you could redeem throughout the year, but this was the only one with a toy company tie in as well.  It was kind of neat to see rebates on Masters of the Universe figures and playsets, though at a combined rebate of $2.50 I'm betting not many kids or parents sent them in…

On Wednesday I'm going to share some more McDonalds craziness, so stay tuned for that.

Today on Wax Paper Pop Art, Indiana Jones.  The first wrapper is a little boring, if only because Topps/O-Pee-Chee used a glorified photocop in the artwork instead of loosely re-drawing the image.  I'm much more interested in the crude, simplistic renderings with these wrappers, or at least re-drawn images.  Photo quality is just sort of lifeless…

Raiders of the Lost Ark from Topps (O-Pee-Chee in Canada), 1981.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom from Topps, 1984.  I talked about the stickers here.

Thinking about some magical food moments from my past I can't help but immediately gravitate towards the splenderferious invention that graced America's freezers in 1982 (by my best educated guesstimates), the Pudding Pop.  Sure, there are other frozen treats that I love, Screwballs, Otter Pops, and Slurpees, but sucking on a pudding pop was like having a symphony in your mouth and it always played the theme to Star Wars.  Seriously though, there was something magical about the smooth, velvety texture of a good pudding pop that other treats (Fudgsicles and ice cream bars) just couldn't match.

Growing up there was only one pop in my household's freezer, the Bill Cosby endorsed Jell-O Brand Pudding Pops from General Foods.  Introduced in 1982, these frozen treats were originally available in three flavors, Chocolate, Vanilla and Banana.  Personally I was a vanilla man, though I have a vague recollection of eating a banana pop or two.  One of my favorite food related sense memories is of the thin coating of ice that would envelop the pudding pops.  It was always fun to see if you could loosen it in an entire sheet and slide it off the pop.   This ice coating also made for a great makeshift wall between the bottom of the pop and the stick so that the pudding wouldn't melt directly onto your hand if you decided to savor the experience.

Though Jell-O was the only brand in my house, there were others available, in particular Swiss Miss, which had a much more robust variety of flavors…

I've had a tougher time trying to nail down the date that these Swiss Miss Pudding Bars were introduced, but I'm betting it was in and around 1982 as well based on this television commercial.  The ad above is from 1984 and features no less than eight different varieties including chocolate, vanilla, chocolate covered chocolate & vanilla, chocolate chip, fudge swirl, and chocolate toffee covered chocolate & vanilla.  There were also sugar-free varieties (mentioned on the back of this box in Jason Liebig’s collection.)  On a side note, I really dig the older style Swiss Miss mascot design because she was a claymation style puppet.  Drinking Swiss Miss hot chocolate back in the day was like sipping on a Rankin/Bass Christmas special, and ever since they switched to a more realistic rendering it's just never been the same (even if it is only in my mind.)

I think it's interesting that the print ads for Jell-O Pudding Pops strayed away from using spokesman Bill Cosby, and instead focused on the guilt-free aspect of the frozen treat.  As this above ad from 1984 showcases, the pops only had 90 calories and apparently were just as good as eating an apple or a banana.  Insane nutrition claims aside, I do have to admit that, that is one heck of an attractive calorie count.  It brings to mind the other Jell-O frozen treat introduced in the 80s (1981 according to the Jell-O website timeline which suspiciously doesn't even mention pudding pops, but I'm betting it was also in 1982 alongside the pudding pops), the Jell-O Gelatin Pops as seen in this 1985 ad…

These fruit pops were only 35 calories and were a much slower melting bar because of the added gelatin.  According to the above ad, General Foods also produced chocolate covered Jell-O Pudding Pops, though I don’t remember ever seeing those for the life of me.

Unfortunately, sometime in the early 90s Jell-O Pudding Pops seemed to disappear from our grocer's freezers.  My guess is that after the line-up of General Foods brands were merged in with the Kraft family of products in the mid 90s (as Phillip Morris owned both by that time), their frozen treats were dropped as Kraft didn't really have a market share in the sweet end of the freezer section.  As far as the Swiss Miss bars go, your guess is as good as mine.  It wasn't the last time we'd see Jell-O Pudding Pops though.  They made a small comeback in the early 2000s under both the Jell-O and Popsicle brands, but they weren't the same product.  Offered in a slimmer Fudgsicle-like stick, the flavors and consistency just weren’t the same.  There's also a Jell-O branded pudding pop maker for kids, though I'm guessing it's not much different than sticking a pudding cup in the freezer.

Today there are still some brands of frozen pudding pops though, mainly Kemps and Blue Bunny, but this summer Coldstone Creamery is also presenting a variation on the Pudding Pop with Jell-O branded pudding ice-cream.  It's not the same, but it's as close as we're going to get.

Here are some Jell-O Pudding & Gelatin Pop commercials to take you back to the 80s for a few minutes: 1982, 1983, 1984, 1984, 1985, & 1986.  I wonder if Bill Cosby misses these pudding pops as much as I do?

While flipping though a bunch of old Boy's Life magazines recently I came across a couple Toys 'R' Us circulars that had some interesting stuff. In the 80s toy companies had a leeway with products that you just won't ever see again.

In particular there was a full-page ad for an awesome 1989 TRU exclusive Back to the Future II battery-powered DeLorean…

Much in the same vein as the Return of the Jedi jungle gym that I talked about last April, this child-sized motorized DeLorean is pretty damn cool and another example of one of my childhood fantasies come to life.  I never had the opportunity to own or even ride one of the plethora of Power Wheels toys cars and trucks that were so huge in the 80s, but you can bet I dreamed of having my own DeLorean so that I could tool around the neighborhood before jacking it up to 88pmh and blasting into the future (most likely to see if the Transformers really did have an Autobot base on Earth in 2005.)  It's weird, I keep stumbling across these awesome relics of the past that I never knew existed, and always wished were available.  What's next?  Were there child-sized motorized AT-ATs?  Was there an Airwolf themed swing set with ride-able helicopter seats?

Seriously though, how cool is that advertising artwork?!?  I love the exaggerated flames coming out from behind that little Power Wheels car.  It's almost as if it has rocket powered thrust or something.  Also, that kid's shades are the best.  They remind me of the Pizza Hut Back to the Future II promotion in '89 that featured cheap plastic sunglasses in all sorts of wacky shapes…

Next up is a 1988 ad for Galoob's Army GEAR dual action toys…

Army GEAR was Galoob's attempt at bridging the gap between their Micro Machines and Hasbro's G.I. Joe and Transformers toys.  The idea is actually kind of cool where on the one hand you've made some serviceable toy army weapons, but the fact hat they transform into battle stations with all sorts of little soldiers and vehicles inside is just genius.  Some of the sets were kind of ludicrous though, in particular a machete, which is just a weird item to be molded into a child's toy.  Maybe Galoob teamed up with the Army after hearing about how video games where increasing soldier's eye-hand coordination and making them better helicopter and jet pilots.  This was possibly their secret way of getting kids used to field-stripping M-16s and .45 caliber pistols…

The craziest item in the circulars was the most insane "board game" ever, Milton Bradley's Tuba Ruba…

Tuba Ruba was Milton Bradley's second attempt at selling sex in a box (22 years after introducing the slightly controversial Twister in 1966.)  This time around, not content with just introducing adults and children to the wonders of inappropriate touching in strange positions, MB upped the ante by adding bondage to the mix.  The idea is pretty simple, wrap the Tuba Ruba tubes around your (and an opponents) body and insert a ball at the top end.  Then you just wiggle and shake until the ball drops out the bottom.  I'm sure this became standard issue party equipment in 7-Minutes-in-Heaven closets all over the country.

If nothing else, I can say that toys have never been as exciting as they were in the 80s…

This wrapper reminds me that there are still a few sets of sticker cards I still need.  Also, this is an example of a Canadian Topps wrapper which is distributed under the name O-Pee-Chee.

Jaws 2 from Topps (O-Pee-Chee in Canada), 1978.

Jerzy and Anne Drozd invited me and my wife Carrie onto tonight's episode of Art & Story Extreme!!   The topic of discussion was branding, specifically getting at what branding means and how it relates to the overall message or mission statement of a project or company.  I talk a heck of a lot about branding here (I mean I use the word in my own darn branding), so I had a lot of fun trying to dig at what it means, especially for the independent artist.  You can find this episode and more at Art & Story Podcast (dot com.)

I recently had the opportunity to take a look at the Mill Creek re-issue of 21 Jump Street on DVD and I have to say that I was both a little excited about the set and a little bit bummed out.  First off, I have to make it clear that Mill Creek provided a review copy of the DVD, so I didn't purchase this set.  I am, however, a fan of the show, and I already own a few of the seasons that were previously released by Anchor Bay on DVD.  So for whatever it's worth, I'd like to believe that my opinions on the set and series are unbiased.

Part of the reason that I wanted to take a look at this set is that I feel like we're entering an unfortunate stage in the life of DVD as a medium, and Mill Creek is leading the pack into the future.  After living through the first home video boom during the 80s and 90s with VHS, I knew the life cycle of DVD would be relatively short in the grand scheme of things, lasting around 20 years.  Introduced to the public in 1997, I think it's safe to say that we're now entering into the last stage of life for the format, its twilight years.  The signs are all around us with discount $3-$5 DVDs available in stores like Big Lots and Wal-Mart, and with a slight improvement of the medium already on the market (Blu-Ray.)  Pretty soon we’re going to see a shift in the releases of films and TV shows as some will only be available on blu-ray or for download, and only the most popular and profitable releases will garner DVD distribution.

So why is Mill Creek important in this scenario?  Well, in the last few years super discounted DVDs have usually consisted of old, discontinued or overstock titles that companies are trying to liquidate to recoup production costs.  Mill Creek on the other hand is leading the charge on first run releases in the budget format, so instead of getting an affordable price on a nicely manufactured set, we're getting lower quality sets at great prices.  After years of releasing budget public domain fare, Mill Creek is now licensing TV series that other companies have discontinued releases for, as well as picking up the rights to some shows that have never been released on DVD.  One of their first big coups was in acquiring the library of Stephen J. Cannell productions including such shows as Hunter, the Commish, the Greatest American Hero, and 21 Jump Street.  All of these series have been released before, but not at budget pricing.  In addition to these well-known series, Mill Creek is also releasing a lot of Cannell's lesser known series such as Ten Speed and Brown Shoe, Booker, and Cobra which have never been on DVD in North America (except Cobra which was released in Canada.)  I think this is going to become a trend for the medium in the face of rising music rights costs, especially for TV on DVD, and I’m kind of sad to see it.  I think if it's successful then it's going to prove to DVD distributers that subpar sets are perfectly acceptable.

So what about this new 21 Jump Street Complete series DVD set?  Well, being a budget release, the set is attractively priced between $60-$70, which isn't bad for five seasons of television.  The original five sets released by Anchor Bay in 2004 would have easily set you back $150, so right off the bat we're talking a 50 to 60 percent drop in price.  But this price reduction also comes with a drop in quality, both in the packaging, features, and in the video quality as well.  First off, the quality of the transfer is pretty close to the original DVDs, at least displayed on a regular player on a non-HD television, but there is a higher compression as there are more episodes per disc on this new set.   The original source material was rough to begin with though, and there's only so much you can do to pretty it up.

My biggest complaint though is with the packaging which is just medium to subpar.  Though the sets are packaged in clamshell-style cases, the DVDs themselves aren't housed on individual pegs or spindles.  Instead they're individually wrapped in plain black paper sleeves which stack together and sort of snap into a frame on one side of the case.  That means that when you want to pull out DVD #17, you have to pull them all out and sift through the sleeves, which can be a pain.  With a smaller set it's not that big of a deal, but with these complete series sets it really gets to be a pain.

There are also no liner notes and no DVD booklet.  You want to know which episode guest stars Brad Pitt?  Go to IMDB and find it that way because you'll be searching forever on the DVDs.  Again, with a smaller or season set this wouldn't be that big of a deal, but with a complete series set it's really a pain in the butt.  This is also a bare bones, no-special-features release (unless you count the single episode of Booker included in the set.)

Unfortunately, as with the original release of the series on DVD, most if not all of the original music was also stripped from the episodes because of high song licensing issues.  This is the biggest setback for TV on DVD, and in particular with a show like this because the music helped to define the tone, and it provided a boost to the overall quality of the show.  Without the music the series feels so much more cheesy than it was when it originally aired and honestly it's just a shame.

Talking about the series itself, 21 Jump Street is an example of Stephen J. Cannell at his most playful.  Starring Peter and Michael Deluise, Holly Robinson (Peete), Dustin Nguyen, Steven Williams (the X-Files), Richard Grieco, and of course a young Johnny Depp in his break-out role as Officer Tom Hanson, the show was sort of like the older brother to Saturday Morning cartoons in the 80s.  Usually centered on some hot-button topic of the day, the series was a fun spin on detective shows that gave the actors a lot of range to play all sorts of characters in their undercover roles.

The series is a snapshot of what the Fox Network was like during its inception as well, and helped to define a slightly hipper alternative to the normal programming on the main three networks.  It works best as a time capsule of late 80s television and features a plethora of up and coming and established actors in guest spots like Brad Pitt, Pauley Shore, Mario Van Peebles, Kurtwood Smith, Jason Priestley, Mindy Cohn, Bridget Fonda, Sherilynn Fenn, Josh Brolin, Christina Applegate, Vince Vaughn, John Waters, Shannon Doherty, and Thomas Haden Church.

All in all, for the price, the set is probably worth picking up if you're a fan and don't already own the series, though I would wait for a sale.  Right now Best Buy actually has it for the astounding price of $38.

To me the series will always highlight the bittersweet experience of moving on from middle school to high school, and leaving the 80s behind.  It was the beginning of the end for the type of television that I grew up on, and it made the transition into the 90s a little less rocky.  You can pick up this set on July 27th, 2010.

1977 is such an interesting year, and sometimes I feel lucky that I came into the world that hot summer in July.  Not only did I arrive just in time for the original Star Wars flick, but alongside were all sorts of crazy and groundbreaking events like the introduction to the world's first personal computers (the Commodore PET and the Apple II), Fleetwood Mac released Rumors, The Clash released their first album, women of the Navy and Marines sub-units were officially welcomed in as part of the Navy and Marine Corps, Elvis Presley, William Castle, Marc Bolan, Charlie Chaplin and Groucho Marx all passed away, the Atari 2600 was released, smallpox was eradicated, and the television channel Pinwheel (that would come to be known as Nickelodeon) was launched.  But in all the hubbub, a very important breakthrough was lost in the chaos; assuredly the most unrecognized advancement in men's trouser technology makes its stunning debut in August of 1977, Century Martial Arts' Kickin' Jeans!

Way back in 2006, during my first year in blogging, I shared an ad for these ferocious fighting jeans, and I thought that it was high time that I did a more in-depth examination into the wonder of the modern no-tear assault jeans made famous by the one and only Chuck Norris.  Though the Century brand Action Jeans are probably the most popular, they were certainly not the first jeans to make the “Action Jeans” claim.  That officious proclamation would probably have been made by Lee Jeans back in 1957 with their Rider branded trousers.  Fit for rugged cowboys, these Lee jeans were endorsed by none other than legendary rodeo star Guy Weeks.  Proclaiming strong stitching, these jeans were possibly more intense because of their patented U-shaped crotch, which is really the feature where all the action really comes together as we'll see in a moment.

As you can see in the original ad for what, at the time, Century was calling Kickin' Jeans, the secret is in the gusseting.  So what is gusseting you ask?  Well, it involves sewing in a diamond-shaped piece of fabric into the seams of clothing to create a more comfortable fitting garment.  I first learned about gusseting from the film, The Silence of the Lambs.  In the scene in which Jodie Foster makes the connection between Buffalo Bill and one of his first suspected victims, she notices a dress that has the triangular gusseting patterns that clearly match the diamond-shaped patches of missing skin from some of his other victims (since he was making a woman suit and all.)  Gruesome to be sure, but interesting none the less.  It's this give in the fabric that lets the wearer of Kickin' Jeans get the range of motion required to round kick a goon in the head while also looking stylish and fetching in jeans that aren't ripped and torn from all the aforementioned kickery.

In doing some research into these warrior jeans, I believe I have managed to bring together most, if not all, of the known pieces of Kickin' Jeans advertising.  I'd like to share them with you now…

First off, most of these ads come from back issues of Black Belt magazine, a staunch supporter of the remarkable jeans between 1977 and March 1991 when the miracle product seems to fall off the face of the earth.  The original black and white ad at the top ran in Black Belt from August 1977 throughout 1978.  But in January 1979 we got our first look at Kickin' Jeans in astounding full color (above.)  This is probably my favorite ad for the product, mostly because of its obvious dated cheesiness.  But I also have to hand it to the designer as he felt it was a good idea to have the main jean-model both strutting his stuff all posed up front, while simultaneously getting the crap kicked out of him in the background.  I think that's what these jeans promise in a nutshell, great fashion and ass-kickery.

Then in 1980 Kickin' Jeans got a huge proverbial kick in the ass by scoring a promotional deal with Bill "Superfoot" Wallace, a recognized athlete and kickboxing champ.  In my humble opinion, Superfoot brought these wonder pants out of obscurity and into the lime light.  Well, at least the lime light in the niche world of martial arts enthusiasts, which was a pretty burgeoning crowd in the late 70s, early 80s.

If Superfoot was a boon to the benefit of conformability while performing a roundhouse on someone's all-too-deserving head (all while wearing stylish jeans), then in 1981 Ernie Reyes Sr. and his 9 year-old martial arts prodigy son Ernie Jr. must have been an explosion of epic proportions (though not an explosion strong enough to rip the Kickin' Jeans mind you.)  Is it just me or does Reyes Jr. look like he's 4 years-old in that ad (and able to kick the living hell out of anyone's butt at the same time?)  Ernie Reyes Jr. was sort of a big deal in my circle of friends during the 80s and early 90s as he starred in one of my favorite childhood television shows Sidekicks, and would go on to do all of the in-suit martial arts for Donatello in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live action film (and its sequel, Secret of the Ooze.)  If you don't remember Sidekicks (also starring Gil Gerard of Buck Rogers fame), here is a horrible copy of the intro on youtube, as well as the pilot episode (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, & part 5.)

But it was in 1982 the pants really hit the fan (to mix my metaphors) when film legend Chuck Norris endorsed the slacks.  Not only did he endorse them, but the company renamed them for the first time, this time to Karate Jeans…

This was a short-lived change though, as later in 1982 the jeans would go through their second and final branding change, this time to the less exciting, but much more hilarious Action Jeans!  If you'll notice, the difference is all in the mustache apparently, as that's the only difference I can see in the two ads.  But a Chuck Norris mustache is unlike all other lip hair.  It's got 300% more action than any other mustache, and 10% more appeal than the second most popular lip hair, the mustache of one Rollie Fingers.

The genesis for this whole article comes with this next ad from 1983.  Featured in the back of Boy's Life magazine, we again get a chance to see Ernie Reyes Jr. wearing the amazing jeans, though this time they're Chuck Norris branded.  I'm glad to see Norris sharing the lime light here.  I was kind of shocked to see an ad for these jeans outside of Black Belt magazine, and it's really what drove me to compile all these ads.  Also, it's strange to see that Norris was selling these jeans under his own company and not through Century...

Between 1983 and 1984 we got a much more friendly and toned down Action Jeans ad featuring Norris, who is much more at ease than his first advertisement.  I think he was really enjoying his mustache at this point in his career.

In 1985 though, things get ferocious again, as Norris sprouts a beard and brings back the kicking to Action jeans (going by conventional Norris philosophies, I believe he grew the beard on command five minutes before this photo was taken.)  This is the ad I'm most familiar with, and it was representing potentially his most successful years endorsing the jeans as it's the one that ran the longest (from 1985 to early 1989.)  If you were wearing Action Jeans in the 80s, chances are this is the advertisement that got you to slip on your first pair.

Awesome doesn't last forever though, and there would only be one more Action Jeans ad produced, appearing in 1989.  By the 90s Norris was really taking charge of his merchandising empire though.  Well at least he was taking charge of these branded jeans, as this is the one instance where you can see that they have his official signature stitched onto the ass pocket.  Hopefully this is the last thing criminals and evil doers saw before your leg whipped around and kicked their head clean off their shoulders.  At least that's what I imagine wearing these pants was like.

This final ad ran in Black Belt magazine until March of 1991 when the Norris empire was starting to crumble.  The world was moving on to Steven Segal and Jean Claude Van Damme, and so was Black Belt magazine.  Sure it still featured Norris, but not to the extent where he was in every single advertisement.  And there was no room in the world for Action Jeans.   But this isn't the end of the story.  Kicking jeans would get a second life in 2002 thanks to the good people at Diamond Gusset Clothing.   It was a return to basics with the emphasis back on crotch comfort and style…

Though Century Martial Arts is still in business today, they no longer carry the coveted fighting jeans.  Your only option for comfortable ass-kicking jeans lies with Diamond Gusset, but at least these aren't completely forgotten relics of a bygone era.  People can still believe in high kicking without embarrassing rips and tears.  The legend lives on.

I've been falling in love with the USA network show Burn notice recently, and it's got me thinking about all the tropes that make for a great one-and-done hour-long action shows.  And this got me thinking about Tom Selleck and his sweet ride.  So here you go…

Magnum P.I. Bubblegum Cards from Donruss, 1983.

About six months ago I was having a fun time on Twitter going back and forth with Paxton Holley (of the supremely cool Cavalcade of Awesome), trying to come up with a bunch of unofficial film trilogies.  We got to talking and we decided that it would be epic if we worked on an article together and we decided to flesh out the whole idea of these sort-of-film-trilogies.  So please head on over to the Cavalcade and get your awesome on!

If growing up in the 80s taught me anything it was that any film that was even moderately successful deserved a sequel, and the only thing better than a sequel was a full blown trilogy.  There's something magical (in the unicorn and rainbow kind of way) about the movie trilogy format that I can't quite put my finger on, but it's there all the same.  Something satisfying.  Personally I can point to the experience of growing up with the three original Star Wars films as a point of reference.  In some form, every trilogy I watch is compared to these three films; in particular to their structure of a first film that works as a stand alone piece (incase of box office failure and no sequel money), a second film that enriches the characters and paints a much bigger picture for the world, and a third film which brings a sense of closure to the overarching plot while also giving the characters one more wild adventure.

There seemed to be an endless stream of trilogies that I cherished in and around the 80s.  The Back to the Future films, the Karate Kid flicks, the hillbilly/mutant Jason flicks (Friday the 13th parts 2-4), the Zombie Jason flicks (Friday the 13th parts 6-8), the Bad News Bears flicks, the Look Who's Talking flicks, the Mad Max flicks, the Naked Gun flicks, the Poltergeist films, and the Meatballs films.  That's not including other film series that broke into more sequels like the Superman or the Rocky films.  Heck, in doing some research for this crossover I discovered that there was even a trilogy that I was unaware of, Cannonball I, II, and Speed Zone!  I loved the first two and now I have to track down and see the third.

Recently though, I've been thinking a lot about conceptual trilogies, film series that aren't directly connected by characters or story, but have other threads that tie them together.  There are a lot of series written by the same author or that were all filmed by the same director that get a lot of attention; for instance Sergio Leone's Dollars/Man with No Name trilogy (Fist Full of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly), his epic America trilogy (Once Upon a Time in the West, Fist Full of Dynamite, and Once Upon a Time in America), or John Carpenter's Apocalypse trilogy (The Thing, Prince of Darkness, and In the Mouth of Madness.)  But there are also a lot of films that just feel like they belong together because of interesting themes and overall concept.  Here are a few of my favorites…

The Ralph Macchio Fight Trilogy.  There are only a handful of films starring Mr. Macchio thoughout the 80s as he was quickly typecast as Daniel LaRusso (not a terrible fate), but of the films that he did make there seems to be a clear throughline of scrapping against all forms of bullies.

Starting in 1983 with Francis Ford Coppola's adaptation of The Outsiders, Ralph Macchio stars as Johnny Cade, a 16 year-old greaser runt who's had enough and is ready to pop.  In the film, Macchio's Johnny comes to the aid of his friend Ponyboy (played by C. Thomas Howell) who is being attacked by a group of Socs (the rich, douchey, pre-suburbanites of the 50s) because he was hanging out with "their girls".  Johnny stabs and kills one of the Socs in the scuffle and then he and Ponyboy go on the lam hiding from the law.  Things don't end well for Johnny, but he does save a bunch of kids from a burning building, so I guess there's that…

The second film in the Fight trilogy is by far Macchios most famous and probably my favorite film of the 80s, 1984's The Karate Kid.  Starring as Daniel LaRusso, a kid who moves from Newark, NJ, to Reseda in California and then proceeds to get his butt kicked by bullies right and left.  One chance meeting with the apartment's reclusive superintendant later and we're on the awesome rollercoaster ride of banzai-tree-trimming, catching flies with chopsticks, waxing cars, painting decks, and beating the living shit out of a bunch of asshole bullies in skeleton costumes.  Not only did the film give us the ultimate douche in Billy Zabka's Jonny Lawrence, but it also provided the best fight song in the history of all time, Joe Esposito's You're the Best.  It's to fighting what Barry White is to love making.

The final film in the Fight trilogy is the under-seen 1986 Walter Hill flick Crossroads, starring Macchio as Eugene Martone, a young guitar prodigy searching for the legendary Robert Johnson's (he of the musical deal with the devil fame) one lost song.  Though there are a couple of dustups in the flick, the fighting all takes place with guitars, in particular in the culmination of the film where Martone accepts a challenge from the devil to out guitar his pet project, rock star Jack Butler (playing with a crazed yet entertaining relish by Steve Vai.)  It seems that in battling the Devil, there is no greater weapon that soulful rock and roll (Just ask Charlie Daniels, the Kids in the Hall, or Tenacious D.)

Crossroads brings me to another themed series, The Walter Hill Musical Battle Trilogy.  Walter Hill is one of those directors that never broke as big as his resume deserves, though he has been a part of some pretty big projects including the first Alien film and the HBO Tales From the Crypt television series.  His eye for style and interesting characters is amazing and I can only hope more people pick up his films as time goes on.  For this trilogy I'll go in reverse seeing as I've already mentioned the culminating flick, Crossroads. 

The middle film in the Musical Battle trilogy is the insane 1984 flick Streets of Fire.  Starring Michael Pare as Tom Cody, an ex-soldier turned hero for hire who is called back to his home town when his ex-girlfriend, rock star Ellen Aim (played by Diane Lane), is kidnapped by Raven Shaddock, leader of a local gang called the Bombers (played with wicked insanity by Willem Dafoe.)  Cody, along with another ex-soldier McCoy and Ellen's manager/boyfriend Billy Fish (Rick Moranis in a typecast-breaking performance as a fast talking ass), take on the Bombers and rescue Ellen in a film noir inspired rock opera that culminates in one heck of a kick ass sledge hammer fight that needs to be seen to be believed.  This film drips style much in the same way that Tim Burton or Wes Anderson flicks do.  Hill is a master of creating unique alternate universes that exisit just on the edge of reality, and in Streets of Fire it can be the 50s and the 80s as the same time.

The first flick in this Musical Battle trilogy is probably Hill's most famous film, 1979's The Warriors, which is one of those movies that people love, hate, or love to hate.  Personally I love it.  The film is loosely based on the Anabasis an account of a battalion of Greek soldiers, lead by Xenophon, from Sardes to the Black Sea through hundreds of miles of enemy territory.  In the film, Cyrus, the leader of the most powerful gang in New York calls for a peaceful meeting between all the gangs in the city (60,000 strong), in an effort to rally together against the police and the system.  Luther (played by a psychotic David Patrick Kelly), uses this opportunity to assassinate Cyrus, and in the ensuing chaos blames the act on the Warriors, who then have to travel through all sorts of enemy territory in trying to get back to their home turf at Coney Island.  The film is punctuated by updates given by a faceless mouth on the radio informing the various gangs of the whereabouts of the Warriors as they try to evade battle.  Though it's not an out and out rock opera, it has many of operatic qualities and a very similar visual panache.

Probably my favorite themed film series from the 80s has to be The Alternative/Extreme Sports Trilogy made up of Rad, Thrashin', and North Shore.  Each film centers on one of the big sports crazes of the 80s including BMX, skateboarding, and surfing respectively.  All of them have similar plots, when a hometown boy (who is pretty damn good at what they do), is confronted with the idea of competing in a tournament that will pit them against the biggest assholes each past-time has to offer. Growing up in Florida in the 1980s I was smack dab in the middle of all three of these crazes, and even though I never tried my hand at surfing I was enamored with all three.

In 1986's Rad (which I discussed at length before), Cru Jones has to battle against the insufferable Bart Taylor (played by real like Olympian Bart Conner) at Hell Track, along the way winning the hart of pro racer Christian (Full House's Lori Loughlin.)  1986 also brought us the skateboarding classic Thrashin'.  Starring Josh Brolin as Cory Webster, the plot centers around a friend of a group of local skaters from the Valley who has come to Los Angles to complete in a crazy high speed downhill race.  Webster unfortunately bumps into a insane local gang of punkish skaters called the Daggers, who are led by Hook (played by Robert Russler.)  Of course Cory falls in love with Hook's more normal sister Chrissy, and the two play Romeo and Juliet while mixing it up with the Daggers (which means plenty of skateboard jousting.)  Lastly we have 1987's North Shore, which features Matt Adler as Rick Kane, a surfer from Arizona who has never really had a chance to hone his chops in a real ocean.  He wins a local competition and finds himself in Hawaii where noting is quite like it seems or he expected.  Battling against the Hui (locals) on the waves, he ends up simultaneously falling in love with Kiani (Nia Peeples) and being mentored by Chandler, a transplanted soul-surfing guru.  Rick decides that the only way he can prove himself is by winning a surfing competition called the Banzai Pipeline.

Last but certainly not least is the is The William Zabka Bully Trilogy.  I've already talked about the Karate Kid (where Zabka plays the leg-sweeping bully we all love to hate, Johnny Lawrence), but he also goes on to play douches in two other 80s flicks, 1985's Just One of the Guys, and 1986's Back to School.

Just One of the Guys is my favorite hidden gem movie of the 80s that I must have seen on cable two trillion times.  Starring Joyce Hyser as Terry Griffith, an aspiring teenaged journalist who can't seem to get any respect because she's a shapely woman.  Terry hatches a scheme to enroll in another high school (seeing as her journalism teacher has already dismissed her talent), only this time she decides to start cross dressing as a boy so that she can get the respect she deserves for her work.  In the flick Terry is basically playing the Daniel LaRusso role from the Karate Kid, but instead of getting beaten up by Billy Zabka's Greg Tolan, she instead mentors a geeky guy who can't seem to get a date, Rick (played by Clayton Rohner.)  Rick has a crush on Tolan's girlfriend Deborah, and therein lies the Zabka douchery.  Though it's a slight step down from Johnny Lawrence, Greg Tolan is still a pretty entertaining asshole and it's fun to see him get his ass kicked by a girl, her little brother and eventually Rick as well.  Whereas in the Karate Kid Zabka was more likely to bust up your ghetto blaster and chase you down with a dirtbike, in Just one of the Guys his coup de grace comes in various forms of exercizing with nerds and geeks.  Between showing off his wedgie-weight-lifting, and his personal favorite lunch table lifting, Zabka had a lot of fun as teh ultimate P.E. bully.

Zabka's weakest bully performance is in Back to School, the Rodney Dangerfield comedy where he plays Thorton Melon, the owner of a successful string of Big and Tall shops who decides that the only way he can get close to his son is by enrolling in college to be near him.  Zabka plays Chas Osborne, who is the alpha male on the college swim team, and the rival of Thorton's son Jason (played by Christine's Keith Gordon.)  Honestly, Zabka is barely in the film and even though he really is supposed to be a douche, he's kind of justified in his asshole-ery.  He's a great diver, and he doesn't even really bully Jason all that much, so when his dive is sabotaged by a young Robert Downey Jr. (playing Jasons best friend), it's kind of sad.  Though he's still a douche, I feel sorry for his character and I think it goes a long way to redeeming his much worse bully past.

Anyway, this is only one half of the unofficial trilogies cross-blog special.  For the ultimate in awesomeology and more trilogy fun, head on over to Paxton Holley's Cavalcade of Awesome, and tell him Branded in the 80s sent ya!

I never had the patience to build models when I was younger.  Heck, I've had a complete set of the Aurora Monster Dragster models sitting on the office shelf for years now that I haven't even opened.  Even so, as a kid there was a an allure to the world on model kits, if only because there were so many sets available for cool vehicles that never had standard toy counterparts.  I remember a friend had a super cool model of Airwolf from Ertl that I always wanted to play with, but rightly so he never let me near it.  I'm sure he spent hours meticulously cutting out the pieces from the plastic trees and gluing them together.  He'd even managed to paint it in show-accurate colors.  I was reminded of this as I ran across this crazy MPC Dukes of Hazzard model car ad from a 1981 issue of Boy's Life magazine…

It's kind of strange that there was a whole line of models in the series including Cooter's Tow Truck and Daisy's Jeep.  I'd be willing to bet cash money that there were also models for Boss Hog's ride as well as Roscoe's police cruiser.  The General Lee I understand, but why would a kid want a 1/25th scale replica of Cooter's Tow Truck?  I mean if it were a toy, like a Hot Wheel or Matchbox car, okay, but as a display model?  I guess you'd have to be one heck of a Ben Jones super-fan.  Or a nine year-old tow truck enthusiast I guess.  Weird.

The ad is pretty neat though, not only because of the fun artwork on the Duke Boys, but because the copy is written in-character with regional speech issues and all.  Personally I think this ad could have approached genius levels of awesome if the copy writer had managed to get across that the text was narrated by the one and only Balladeer, Waylon Jennings, but that's just me…

Had a lot of fun talking with Jerzy Drozd (of Make Like a Tree Comics and the Art & Story Podcast) and Sara Turner (of Make Like a Tree Comics, Cricket Press, and her awesome new webcomic The Ghosts of Pineville) about the 25th anniversary of Back to the Future, Michael J. Fox, skateboarding in the 80s, crushes on male actors, and the stupidity of Hollywood producers on last night's episode of Art & Story Extreme.  If you've got a second and want to hear me and the others wax nostalgic for half an hour, hop on over and download the episode!

Which also reminds me, both Jerzy and Sara are co-organizers of this November's Up! Fair coming to Lexington, KY. Table registration is open for the show, but space is limited and we’re going to be closing registration on August 15th, and starting the jurying process to pick the artists who will be tabling.  So if you’re interested in participating, make sure you get your registration in soon!

Can you hear the theme music?  I can.  And now I'm going to try and stop an out-of-control Winnebago that has an illegal poker game inside.  Or do I tackle that out-of-control go-cart with the wind-surfing sail attached?  Damnit, there's also some unruly skateboarders tearing up the local sidewalks!  Of course Elvira is also in town, so there's that too.  A CHiPie's job is never done…

CHiPs Sticker Cards from Donruss, 1979 (which you can see here.)

Something that I don't talk about a lot here at Branded are some of the insane food products that were big back in the 80s, so today I thought I'd remedy that the best way I know how, by talking about pork.  In the 80s I learned two things about pork.  One, it was The Other White Meat.  Two, there were no limits to the ways that companies like Swift and Hormel would twist processed pig to sculpt it into fascinating new products.  And my mom made sure that we tried them all, or at least I thought so before doing a little digging…

If I had to pick one pork related sin, it would probably be screwing up bacon.  Yeah, I know it's beyond cliché to obsess over bacon in this geeky internet age, and honestly I tend to roll my eyes whenever I see someone extolling the virtues of bacon infused chocolate, bacon vodka, or Baconnaise.  But I am a red-blooded American, and I can't ignore the beauty of a nice pure crispy piece of savory, salty pork belly.  I wasn't always so discerning in tastes though, and neither was my mother, which is why throughout the 80s our fridge was always stocked with a package of Sizzlean…

If bacon is the ultimate cut of pork (though Anthony Bourdain and his crispy cheek fetish would probably beg to differ), then the ultimate in processed pork must assuredly be Sizzlean (sorry Spam.)  Touting itself as a healthier (50% less fat) and meatier slice of pork, Sizzlean was truly an ingenious, if not blasphemous product.  I loved it.  Looking back on it now, it seems like it has more in common with jerky than straight up pork, as it was sort of tough when fried up and had a very similar consistency.  My main complaint as a kid was the product's tendency to contain odd, tough bubbles of fat in the meat which I'm sure was a by-product of the meat processing.  Though they're not quite Beggin' Strips, Sizzlean was for all intents and purposes fake bacon, or if you will, Fakon, and I sure do miss it. Also, I have to hand it to the product designers on Sizzlean, mixing sizzle and lean in the name was perfect advertising work.  Here are a couple of commercials for this wonder product by Swift.

Next up is a product I was lucky enough to never have tried back in the day, Hormel canned sausage…

For some reason my mother had an aversion to most canned and jarred meat products, so I never had the opportunity to taste delicacies such as Spam, Underwood's Deviled Ham, Libby's corned beef, dried beef, or these incredibly interesting (to me of course) canned sausages or breakfast ham slices.  I did however grow up on a steady diet of smoked oysters and the occasional can of Vienna Sausages, so go I wasn't completely deprived of weird canned meats.  Out of curiosity, to all the cooks out there, is sausage-shrinkage truly a hurdle that needs jumping?  Also, the tag line that "…only Hormel seals sausage patties in an airtight can to protect their delicious country fresh flavor…" is a little telling.  There's probably a good reason that no one else was attempting this and why these are no longer available.  Canned ham & cheese anyone?

Next up is another amazing product from the meaty, master minds at Hormel, the Frank 'N' Stuff hotdogs!

Okay, who remembers burning the ever-living hell out of their mouths when biting into these insane lava-like chili-filled monstrosities?!?  Granted, filling a hotdog with things like cheese and chili sounds like a good idea, and sometimes it can work (Oscar Meyer Cheesedogs anyone?)  But the Frank 'N' Stuff hot dogs were a lawsuit waiting to happen.  Besides, the best way to know when a hot dog is done cooking is when the skin splits a little, and in the dreadful case of these dogs, that means chili seepage.  Now I don't know about you, but the words chili seepage and appetizing do not appear together normally in the English language.  They're like opposite poles on a magnet, no matter how much you try and stick them together, it just won't work.  Alright, even though I do have vivid memories of burning the crap out of my tongue on one of these, I do remember them tasting just fine, but you have to admit that going with a Frankenstein theme was totally relevant (what with the hot dog's proclivity to turn on its master and all.)

This also reminds me that I need to take this opportunity to point to my favorite Flickr account in the whole wide world, the collection of one Jason Liebig.  I've never come across someone so dedicated to sharing nostalgic memories of ephemera, in particular for foodstuffs of days gone by.  I'm constantly amazed and happily shocked at the stuff that he finds and shares.  It's literally a gold mine of memories.  So if you get a chance, please click on the crazy Hormel Bacon Bits Spin-Off collection below and prepare to get lost in nostalgia.

By the by, how did my mom miss these further Bits products when I was a kid!  We were strong supporters of the Hormel Bacon Bits and Bacon Pieces jars, and yet I never knew of the existence of Pepperoni, Ham, and Cheddar Cheese Flavored Bits.  Oh what will the geniuses at Hormel think up next?!?